Oh Suhh

Oh suhh dudes. Dang, back at it again with the blogging. It's actually been approximately a decade since I've blogged about something other than construction, so this is gonna be a little shaky. But I really just wanted to discuss a few very important items: 

1. The dog face snapchat filter

2. How to share food

3. Basic white girl poses

4. Basic white girls in general. 

1. STOP USING THE DOG FACE FILTER. For real, how many times can you use that filter and still think you look cute? It's not cute. Maybe it was cute on the first day that snapchat released it. But it isn't any more. Now you just look like a skank dog who has no friends but a lot of  cleavage. That's all. Quit. You hoe. 

2. Don't steal the last piece of pizza. Don't take anything that has someone else's name/initials on it. Don't share ice cream spoons with anyone that you wouldn't make out with. Don't take the biggest nacho on the plate, especially if it takes away all the goodness from other nachos. Don't take anyone's fries unless you have been in a relationship of good standing for at least 6 months. 

3. Why do all white girls have to stand with their legs slightly bent, their hands on their inner thighs, leaning forward with their boobs popping out? I described that terribly, but you pictured it in your mind. I know you pictured it, because literally every white girl poses like that. Or fake candid poses. We all know you posed that candid photo. "I need a new instagram picture, let's act like we're laughing and doing something really funny." Stop. 

4. Basic white girls, all of you: Stop being basic. Like, you think you're being cool and original, but really you're just doing what everyone else is doing. Twenty one pilots isn't as cool as you think they are. That half bun isn't really that cute. Your "flannel" shirt wrapped around your waist, with a t shirt and boat shoes is literally what every other white girl on pinterest is wearing. Go buy yourself something that is practical for your personality, not everyone else's personality. And seriously... quit taking Polaroid pictures, and then taking pictures of your polaroids with your iphone camera so you can instagram them. It really defeats the purpose. 

Do something original. Go make a pie or something. 

#floasted. 

#WizardWheezes and Breathtaking skeezies

So here's the thing: Bee is totally legit, and is participating in Questival.
Yes, Questival.
It's like a festival, but also like a quest. And she has been up for approximately 700 hours accomplishing tasks.
She is so cool.
Look at this pretty picture she took while doing said activity:

Three cheers for Bee and WizardWheezes!

A happy return

I recognize that I've been absent from the bloisphere for quite some time. I don't know what happened. Maybe time got away from me? I can honestly say that I haven't been busy, so I definitely can't use that as an excuse. But I woke up this week with a burning desire to blog. And here I am. I've been thinking this week about things that I'm grateful for. I'll share a few with you.


1. My arms


Emmy thinks she's quite the jokester. Because of this, I've heard quite a few "Sally" jokes in my lifetime (if you aren't sure what a Sally joke is, Google it. I'm not 100% sure it will show up on the Google, but it's worth a shot.) Basically, the premise is that poor Sally has lost her arms. I'm grateful that I have arms and that my arms work really well. If I fall off a swing, it's because I'm clumsy, not because I don't have arms.


2. Peanut Butter


I don't know what I would do without peanut butter. It's such a blessing in my life.


3. Sandals


I hate feet, but there's just something so wonderful about being able to free your feet from actual shoes.


4. Waking up and listening to rain on the roof


This is a sound that I've been missing in my life lately. There are few things more comforting to this PNW girl than laying in your bed, covered in blankets, listening to rain hitting the roof.


There you have it. Four things that I love and can't live without.

Forever a Homebody

Hey there. Yes you. I decided I should actually blog since we have this amazing reboot and what not. Unfortunately for the reboot, Emmy will be out of commission for 18 months. So it's me, Bee. In other news, my friend is taking me out tonight. I don't want to go out. Usually "out" for me means a run to the grocery store for a gallon of ice cream. This "out" consists of me going to a concert that doesn't start until 8:00 p.m. which means it probably won't end until at least 11:00 p.m. which means I won't be home in my beautiful bed until at least 12:30. Which gives me about 4 hours of sleep until I have to wake up for work. I don't like going out! Why can't we all just enjoy the excitement that comes from staying in!

It's 9:01 on Sunday Evening

And I truly have nothing better to do. The following are my single-girl realizations for the evening.

I am reading bridal blogs. Am I planning a wedding? No, absolutely not. Am I engaged? Nope, not even close. I don't actually know why I felt compelled to dive into this frightening subject, and yet here I am. And I love it. It's fun and pretty.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow I feel like maybe if I delay sleeping as long as possible, work won't happen as soon.

I just realized that I brought up the fact that I go to bed at 9:00. There you have it folks!

I spent the evening watch America Decoded on Netflix. I got unnaturally excited when a segment on the JFK assassination came on.

I just picked out my wedding dress. Please see above comment on my relationship status.

Emmy broke her phone and, other than the use of Facebook and Snapchat, I have no other means of contacting her. So, I just used Facebook to send her 5 cat "stickers."

Have a great week!!

Things I want to do with my life. Round 2.

As I was watching a very fascinating television show this weekend, (the title of which I will not reveal) I came across a career that caused me to reevaluate me life and my career trajectory. Since then I have been reflecting on all the life paths I have for myself. Here are just a few:

1. Food historian.

Yes, this is a career. Yes, I will have it someday. I don't know if there could be anything more fulfilling in life.

2. Teacher

I know, I know. You don't need to tell me.

3. Disney Princess

I want my own movie

4. Owner of a beach/ranch house

I have never seen one of these, but I promise you I will have one.

5. Writer

Because I want to be mysterious and melodramatic and have a good excuse.

6. Prankster

I don't feel this need further explaination.

7. Forensic Psychologist

Cool.

8. Regular Psychologist

People tell me their problems all the time anyway. I might as well get paid for it.

9. Cab driver

I think driving people around would be extremely interesting. I'd make huge blanket assumptions about people based on their destination.

10. Glass blower

This was just a phase. Seriously exotic career path though.

Stuck in an Elevator with a song Devil

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10202570186230506&id=1071910435

I hope you can get to this link...  If you have time for a 13 minute break, watch this video. If you don't have time for a 13 minute break, make time and watch this video. Seriously, it is so funny I peed my pants. It doesn't even seem like 13 minutes. It's worth it. I wish I could experience this. Watch it. Do it.